When my nephew Charlie was three years old I bought him a vacuum. He’s only nine now, so I don’t know yet if that gift - and the other less traditional gifts I presented him over the years - may have affected his self image.

What I do know is that gift was his favorite for years! How did I do it? I shared in an earlier Savvy Auntie column about listening to your nieces and nephews and treating them like adults...to an extent. But when it comes to gift buying you’re best served by lending an ear to the parents.

In addition to being a gift that made Charlie happy, it made me happy too because it took virtually no effort. Parents always have stuff on their kids’ list that they either don’t want to buy or are spread too thin to buy. That’s where the great uncle comes in.

We’re like cowboys riding around on the untamed land of quasi-approved presents. We get to give stuff like iPods, action movies, video games, pogo sticks, Jarts and other items that probably wouldn’t pass muster with mom and dad.

We’re also privy to the advice mom and dad has about what their children need but won’t be getting from you-know-whom.

In three steps, here’s how to capture a smile with a gift on any occasion:

One - talk to the niece or nephew and then consult with the parents. You might not get the guidance that will create a vacuum victory, but you will land some points with the parents and get something the kid wants.

Two - let your instinct guide you a skoch. A BB-gun isn’t ever a good idea. Nor are Creme Brulee torches, piercings, pets (without parent approval), or even something way way way over the top like season tickets to the Red Sox. Think about what you’d approve for your children, then go a little overboard. That’s your right as an uncle.

Finally, reinforce your greatness by spending time with your niece or nephew. Take time to relish their enjoyment of your perfect gift. And make it clear that you’re the best uncle because great uncles give great stuff.

By following these pointers, you’ll end up getting gifts for your loved ones that don’t (or do...in the case of Charlie’s vacuum) suck.

For more details, poke around SavvyAuntie.com this month. There’s a kids’ gift guide to give you the ability to choose perfectly this season.